my lack of self-discipline and how it's ruining my life

oh self-discipline, how i miss thee.

all summer, i've been telling myself how i want to write more on this blog. or how i want to walk more or exercise (at all) when i get home from work. or how i want to take it easy on the ice cream because two helpings of ice cream a day will certainly kill me. or how i want to read more because i am extremely behind on my reading goal for this year. my list of wants goes on and on, yet i've accomplished nothing. 

i keep on blaming my lazy life on being just that, lazy. i keep thinking to myself that maybe i'm even a little bit depressed. sure, i had a small bout of depression in January but i feel like i got over that in the spring. i keep telling myself that surly this inability to accomplish anything is a side effect of being depressed; again. but i'm not feeling depressed. work is going surprisingly well, my personal life is kicking some ass -- an upcoming European vacation and a winter wedding in the works -- it all has kept me occupied and happy. so if i'm not depressed, why can't i get shit done?

then it dawned on me. i have no self-discipline. none.

where i used to have self-discipline oozing out of my pores, i now have none. maybe i spent all of the self-discipline i built when i was an athletic teen. years and years of schooling followed by after-school activities and sporting teams. years and years of coaches and teammates, of someone depending on me. followed then by years of college and having to get shit done -- even if i was less dedicated, i still had teachers to impress and grades to be earned. but since i've been out of school and on my own for the past 13ish years, all the self-discipline that i'd built up is gone. i would say that this last year i used up the last bit of it. 

now i am desperate to re-teach myself self-discipline -- when i was learning it in my youth through sports and schooling i didn't think i really knew what i was learning and how useful of a tool it would be. the other day i did the whole google search thing; searching "self-discipline" and "learning self-discipline". i came across a lot of people in the same boat as me. who'd have thunk it? a few of the web articles i scanned -- because i don't have time to actually read these articles -- linked happiness to people having self-discipline. so right there, my idea of being depressed could be nipped in the bud with some self-discipline. i just blow my mind sometimes.

one helpful web article i came across from the blog Penelope Trunk suggested that if i have self-discipline in one small area of my life it will create a snowball effect and could lead to being discipline in other areas of my life. for some reason that advice just clicked for me. it totally makes sense.

i have a goal. it is to go on a walk everyday after work. something small and simple. if i want to jog, i can, but this is just a simple walk. i notice that this walk then gets the gears going in my life. usually on my walks, i come up with ideas that i either walk to blog about or ideas for stories. and this walk helps with exercise and my eating choices. i can see the snowball effect. love it!

up until now, my life has been in shambles -- it sounds melodramatic and really hasn't been that bad; but when you get complacent in areas of your life where you never thought you wanted to be, you just kind of give up. these past few years have been a long period of me giving up. i'm in a job that i enjoy but has no forward progress -- or the movement forward available is not where i want to go -- and i know that at some point i wont be able to physically do my job anymore. i kind of painted myself into a corner, and it's scary. but realizing i want to do something else gives hope. unfortunately having the discipline to go after it is hard to find, especially if you've lost said self-discipline.

whoa. i just went really heavy. i got to bring this back to something light.

so, let's just work on walking. every day after work. easy. i can do it. xoxo.          

(photos taken from around my apartment)

teenaged food issues while in my thirties

let's talk food, a favorite topic for mine. 

actually, let's talk binge eating. NOT a favorite topic of mine because i have some issues with food.

i've always had a "healthy" appetite. growing up i was an athlete and very active so i had a high metabolism and could pack away the food. it was amazing. it felt great to eat and eat and not put on a pound and still be "skinny". i always thought i ate a lot because i had to keep my energy up for all the activities i was involved with. but it seems that i have feelings that go along with overeating. oh boy! 

my eating habits and food issues seem to run deeper than i realize, and i'm finally figuring this shit out. good lord, i can't believe it's taken me this long to connect the dots. i should've put two and two together from my post about over eating on National Doughnut Day. but that's what i do, i over eat and don't think twice about it. i've always been okay with that philosophy, just ignore the problem. 

all my food issues are starting to catch up with me and my mid-thirties body. i should've realized this 10 years ago when we first moved to Austin. it's about time that i caught on to this. when we first moved here i was amazed by all the food options, especially the late night ones. back home, the 24 hour fast food restaurant didn't really exist. so after closing time we just went home, or if you were really hungry you could go to so some sit down restaurant (Perkins, Country Kitchen) but who wants to do that while drunk and tired because someone always passes out in the bathroom. i could just go home and make a box of Velveeta Shells and Cheese and devour the entire thing by myself.

for the past 10 years i packed on the pounds. tex-mex, bbq, fast food and beer is what's done me in, and my emotional state is the offender. at first i was emotional because of the move and living in a new city and state and having to make new friends and knowing no one -- only the boy. it's a lot harder than one would imagine making new friends (especially when i'm an introvert homebody). when that's followed by years of just having a good time and living like a teenager, it catches up with you. 

now i am in my thirties and my emotions are all over the place and this year, THIS YEAR has been a test of my convictions -- it's been a year of extreme lows and highs because some very good stuff has happened this year too. so for the past few months i've been binge eating and out of all the food options i have out there to binge on, i've chosen fast food (McDonald's is my main go-to). ugh! my stomach wants to kill me now because fast food, and my stomach and i never really got along in the first place. so now World War Three is taking place in my stomach, and i think i might die.

basically i need to get my shit together.    

        

the perils of natural deodorant

i'll just come out and say it, natural deodorants suck!

they're a pain in the ass to apply. they don't stop you from sweating like regular old deodorant because of the whole antiperspirant/aluminum thing, and they make you smell like a hippie -- who usually don't smell too bad *wink*. but smelling like patchouli or the Earth or whatever isn't what i want to smell like when i'm sweating.

i understand that people choose to wear natural deodorants, and i understand the health benefits from that choice because i am someone who wears natural deodorants due to fact that i can't handle the aluminum in deodorants/antiperspirants. and it sucks! have i stressed how much i think this sucks? my armpit swells up like a balloon and becomes very tender. it's just uncomfortable.

i know what you're all thinking, natural deodorant can't be that bad? if i weren't lazy, i guess it wouldn't be. sadly i am lazy, and i hate applying natural deodorants. the ones that work well usually consist of some block-o-something that you rub into your armpit and then topped of with a powder that you sprinkle on. ugh, the powder. that's what drives me crazy the most if i were to pinpoint my frustrations with going the natural route. i usually end up getting that shit all over my bra or the floor or on my pants/legs -- anywhere but my actual armpit. our bathroom is covered in a light dusting of powders due to my deodorants and the boy's Gold Bond that he applies EVERYWHERE.

i'm at a point where i am okay with the whole sweating thing. it's something we do. it took me a long time to except the fact that people sweat. having grown up in the North, i always felt that sweating was a sign of weakness. you didn't want to sweat, and we very rarely did. but now that i am living in the South, i've realized that that's just my bullshit thinking and we all sweat. i do think it's funny when my family from the North visits during the summer months, and they just can't handle the sweat. i'm like, "get over it y'all."

i've been dying to try some recipes that i've come across online (Pintrest) for some homemade natural deodorant, but i just don't have the time or patience for that. the best natural deodorant that i've used and am using now is by Lush. it's a good product by a good company, so no complaints here -- well i have some issues with the price, but that's because i am cheap as fuck, but i'll get over it.

i use the Aromaco Deodorant Bar -- and yes it smells like patchouli so hello hippie pits -- and then i sprinkle the Greeench Deodorant Powder up in there. i usually like the Coconut Deodorant Powder, but when i went into the store, they were all out of the Coconut so they steered me to the Greeench. i think i would go back to the Coconut again because i like the beachy smell better, but they both do the job.

anyone go the natural route?

i've done the Tom's of Maine deodorant and wasn't a fan. i've also used Kiss My Face Liquid Rock Roll On, and it's okay. if i'm in a pinch, i'll buy the Kiss My Face deodorant, but it doesn't do so well when i stress sweat. for now i'll be using my Lush deodorant even thought it's a pain in the ass. xoxo.

adult troublesome pain-in-the-butt ACNE

let's talk about acne -- i don't really want to talk about acne, but someone's got to have the adult acne problems in this relationship and that person is me. ugh.

boy, do i hate acne. for as long as i can remember, i've been plagued with acne. i had it in high school and well into my twenties. however, the closer i got to my thirties, the more my skin started to mellow out. i thought to myself that i did it, i defeated the evil that is acne. i waltzed into my thirties with just a blemish here or there, nothing too big that could freak me out. then, all of a sudden, this past year my acne has come back full force -- not as bad as when i had it in high school, but bad enough to curse the gods. curses!

i was told promised while in my teens that my skin would get better and by the time i was well into adulthood i would no longer have acne. but they all lied, every single one of them.

now i am trying to revamp my skin care regimen, and it's quite difficult. there are so many products out there these days that i don't know where to begin -- i am totally lost. i am that person you see at Target just staring at all that face products not moving or making a sound. it's pathetic. and i am on a limited budget, so that throws a wrench into this depressing process. i don't have hundreds to spend on facial products y'all, i am poor!

so where to begin? i have no clue. there is way too much out there.

i am in my thirties. i have acne. and to top it off, i now have wrinkles to deal with. WRINKLES! where did they come from? this getting old thing is no bueno.

the list of products:

• i had been using Cetaphil for years until recently. it had worked just fine. i liked it. it was gentle and it did a decent job cleaning my face. but then the acne came back.
• Neutrogena. i could keep this business afloat with the amount of facial products i've purchased from them. i'm using the Oil-Free Acne Stress Control wash and the Fresh Foaming Cleanser right now. both are okay, but haven't hit me in that sweet spot. then of course there is the Oil-Free Moisture, which i've been using for a very long time. 
• i've added Aveeno's Clear Complexion Daily Moisturizer because of the salicylic acid, which is what i need to fight acne i hear.  
• at night i've added a night creme by Neutrogena as well, because i've got to start fighting the wrinkles too now.

nothing seems to be really working, at least not yet. i guess i should give this crap a chance to work, right? i'm super close to just throwing in the towel and just getting Proactiv, people seem to be pleased with that stuff. and with all of my years of battling acne, i've never tried the stuff. what works for y'all?

now i just have to remember to wash my face at night before bed. that would probably help me out tremendously. i just have to get my lazy butt out of bed -- because i crawled into bed at around 7:30pm to "watch" TV or "read" a book (which really means to fall asleep then). we'll see what i can accomplish.  

the life of a sugar addict: National Doughnut Day 2013

last Friday celebrated the day all sugar addicts devour, National Doughnut Day -- which was on June 7th of this year because it's celebrated on the first Friday in June, who knew?

i am a sugar addict! i never thought my addiction was truly that bad until National Doughnut Day.

i've always had a sweet tooth, it's no secret. ever since i can remember i've always needed something sweet; candy or ice cream or cake or brownies. my weakness would have to be candy or ice cream, but if we're being honest, i'll take anything.

when i was in high school, a friend of mine would sell this generic candy for a fundraiser for her diving team -- she became my candy dealer while at school. i sat next to her in computer class during second period, and i would buy up all the candy bars she was selling. then i would sit back in class and eat candy bar after candy bar until all that i bought from her were gone. good lord, i had the metabolism of a god back in high school. where did that go?

when i lived at home, my mother and i made the perfect team when it came to sugar and sweets. i am a batter eater and my mother is a brownie nut. i would come home from school or work and whip up a batch of brownies and then go to town on the brownie batter. i would usually eat enough batter to where i would have to make a smaller pan of brownies because i ate half of the brownie dough.

good lord i love ice cream. i usually have a hard time just eating one helping of ice cream. with my 1/2 gallon of Blue Bell sitting in the freezer, i usually have one helping in the afternoon when i get home from work and then top off my night with another helping. i'll go through ice cream phases, too. for a while, i've been all over plain vanilla topped off with Oreos that i smashed to bits. think Amy's Ice Cream -- or Cold Stone Creamery for all you non Austinites. before the Oreo phase, i couldn't get enough of strawberry shakes. before that i needed hot fudge sundaes. god, what i wouldn't give for a hot fudge sundae from Dairy Queen right now.

at present, my day job is working in a bakery. when i got this job, i remember telling my mother and her response was, "now do you really think that's a good idea for someone like you to be working in a bakery?" and i was all like "hell yeah!" what most people don't realize is that working in a bakery isn't the same as stopping by one to browse and look at all the desserts and cakes. working in a bakery has actually made me hate a lot of sweets -- i'm talking about you cheesecakes -- and i didn't think that was possible. when i make vanilla butter cream icing in bulk, it's not as fun as when i am playing with food at home.

so, back to National Doughnut Day.

i came home from work with the worst sugar overdose, trying to figure out what to eat that could bring me down from my sugar high. i never thought that in a million years i would say "i am craving a salad" but after a sweet (pun intended) co-worker decided to bring to work some assorted doughnuts to celebrate National Doughnut Day, i might concede to the fact that i am addicted to sugar. when i was looking at all the different doughnut flavors i wanted desperately to try each one. then i thought to myself that if i only try a quarter of a doughnut, i won't eat that much. after sampling 10 different doughnuts and then going back and eating more of the doughnuts that i really liked, my poor middle-aged body just couldn't take all the sugar.

and then i wanted to go and vomit.  

it will take me a few weeks to get over my doughnut binge -- which is nice right now because when i go to the grocery store i don't buy my doughnut treat, but i'm sure i'll get over it quickly. i can't stay mad at sugar forever.

musings of a lost part-time blogger

so, here i am staring at this blank Blogger page trying to figure out exactly what i want to do with this little blog of mine. we could even go so far as to ask, "what the fuck do i want to do with the rest of my life?" UGH! i guess i am still trying to figure some things out. i really thought by the time i was in my mid-thirties this shit would be all sorted, but i guess that is a "perk" of being an unmarried-childless-middle-aged women; you get to spend all your time obsessing about yourself.

when i first approached this blogging adventure, i thought "what the heck. i can do this, easy peasy!" but then reality set in, and i thought, "holy fuck, i have no idea what i want to do." -- actually, that statement has totally turned into my life motto: I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I WANT TO DO!!! so instead, i just sit on the couch and stare endlessly at the tv.

i am writing this because i am going to try a different approach. initially, i was just going to write about little things here or there. mainly things about movies or tv or books -- my three favorite hobbies, which suggests that i am a hardcore homebody and to that i say, "fuck yes." recently i've run into a bit of a wall and have realized that i cannot keep up with my tv, movie, or book commentary. basically, in the overall scheme of internet blogs, you could throw the proverbial rock two inches and hit a blog dedicated to some girl's ramblings about movies, tv and books. so why would anyone be interested in what i have to say about said items, especially when i can't keep up with my own tv shows (i.e. Project Runway)? i still have to watch the finale of that damn show.

my goal -- which i am going to try very hard to keep -- is that i'm going to try to be more personal. i know, i know, i never really wanted this blog to be a personal journal because i am a very private person, but as time has passed and the i've reflected more upon what i want to do with this blog, i came to the realization that i want to get personal with y'all (for my 10-ish readers). what draws me to my favorite blogs is their personal nature, which feeds quite well into the fact that i love being a voyeur. i know i tease these perfect lifestyle blogs, but it's because i love them some much. it comes down to having a connection with someone versus reading something stale and generic.

let's see where this road takes us. your safety is not guaranteed. i am lazy and a procrastinator, so i'm not sure what we should expect, but a girl's gotta have goals. since i am a homebody and an introvert, my adventures outside of the home are pretty close to nil. i'm okay with that, but i'm not sure you are. so hang in there, and greatness is sure to follow. ha!

xoxo

* i have a bit of an obsession with drawing stick figures.

the boob tube: Project Runway s11 e12

let's just jump right into this one.

*spoilers!

this episode started with the "to be continuned..." moment and Michelle's future hanging in limbo. but really, what was Project Runway going to do? if they wanted Michelle eliminated, she would've been gone, and the show would move on to the last round. now that i am thinking back, this saved Michelle because the judges have faith in her. the last challenge wasn't Michelle's best, but just in the way that she didn't follow the directions well. Patricia should have been the designer sent home. i'm glad they didn't send either ladies home because i really, really want to see what Patricia can produce with more time and money just as i want to see a collection from Michelle. so, Michelle is saved for now -- but we all really know her fate.

like i said last post about Project Runway, the designers are going to Europe. i think it's a "thank you" prize for the last designers for having to put up with working in teams the entire competition. they made it this far, now we are going to send you to Europe (just for a day). so each designer is being sent to a different European city as well as a little helper, and their helper has been switched around again. i think this was for Patricia because she cannot work with Richard anymore. her Richard quota hit its limit.

the pairs are:
Layana and Samantha - Barcelona, Spain
Patricia and Kate - Paris, France
Daniel and Amanda - Berlin, Germany
Stanley and Richard - London, England
Michelle and Tu - New York

when the designers heard where they were going they freaked the fuck out. Patricia was as giddy as a school girl (perhaps high as a kite?), and Daniel just plain lost it. poor Michelle just got depressed. i think it would've been hard for me too, to see all the other designers go out and get all this inspiration and a fresh perspective from a new city while she got to stay in gloomy old New York. i just wanted to be all like "girl, get your shit together. they just gave you a second chance, so take it. don't sulk. kick ass and take names like the bad-ass bitch that you are."

while the designers were away, the drama was nil. it was a nice episode. all the contestants had to worry about was what they were going to do; and, because they had such little time in their city, they just drove around. the architecture of each city was the big inspiration for every designer, even Michelle. that is what a city has a lot of by car, buildings. what was fun to watch was how each designer bought their fabric from their city. watching them trying to communicate with people in a foreign country while trying to buy fabric was great. and having the added bonus of a money limit with the conversion of Dollars into Euros (or the Pound for our English travelers) was funny. watching Patricia deal with the French lady at the fabric shop was great.

so let's just jump in and talk about the designs:

Layana - her look was okay. it totally reminded me of something that Prince would wear. ha! the jacket is cute. the shirt is cute. putting them together just didn't work. all you see is a jacket and some ugly-ass sleeves. when you take away the jacket the shirt is cute, especially with the pants. but in having the jacket be the main focus, the look just looks old. the judges don't like this look at all, calling it old fashioned.

Michelle - i love this look. the breast plate is super cute and the back straps of it are fun and edgy. the dress is really cute too, i love how it has pockets. i just didn't like how she dyed the bottom of the skirt. it just made it look dirty. but besides that, the look kicked ass. and the judges like it.

Stanley - a cute dress. his details are just gorgeous. the zipper slit is amazing, and the lining peeking through the slit is beautiful. his eye for detail is amazing. and the judges like it, of course.

Patricia - i like her top, just not the shoulder part of her top. the textile that she made for the top was awesome, but the top does look a bit homemade crafty, which is a line that she treads often. i would say that the judges are half and half with her look. to think that she went to and was inspired by Paris and all she got from her time there was just this top, not enough.

Daniel - i love his look. his jacket is cute and modern and didn't look too bad for being pleather. his dress was really hip, and the skirt was super cute. he did an amazing job. the look was very modern and young, something that he struggles with a lot in his designing. i don't know if it was a combination of working with Amanda and having Berlin as his inspiration, but it worked. and the judges like his design.

since this was the last challenge before the final, the judges always ask why each designer should go to Fashion Week and who should go with them. i love this because i like to see who the other designers think are good too, and i was a bit surprised by some of the designers choices.

Stanley said Daniel and Michelle
Patricia said Michelle and Stanley
Layana said Michelle and Stanley
Daniel said Stanley and Michelle
Michelle said Stanley and Layana

it's pretty clear the top two favorite designer are Stanley and Michelle, and i agree. i find it funny that no one really thought about Layana, she just isn't as good as she thinks she is, and the other designers know it. and poor Patricia, no one really cares to see what she can do. i really think it's because we haven't seen anything from her, not really. she always sends down half-finished designs or revamped ideas because she bit off more than she could chew. i think with more time, what Patricia has to show us might blow us away. but maybe not.

the designers off to Fashion Week:
Stanley
Daniel
Michelle
Patricia

the designer out:
Layana

of course i've been waiting for this moment for a while. i think i wouldn't have minded seeing a show from her at Fashion Week, but she needed to go. i like how the judges were saying that she is just a ready-to-wear designer, not really a high fashion designer. i agree 100%.

Project Runway aired on Thursday nights on Lifetime.

(photos from Project Runway on myLifetime.com)

the boob tube: Project Runway s11 e11

where, oh, where has the time gone?

the boy informed me the other day that i still have five (FIVE!) Project Runway's recorded on our DVR. that's over 7 hours of valuable real estate taken up by Project Runway -- the Lifetime network is really good at milking this tv program, and the usually hour-long episode is drawn out to an hour-and-a-half (in an added bonus, the last three episodes have been drawn out to two hours). good thing i record this crap because that's a lot of commercials to sit through.

in a perfect world where i have my shit sorted out, this would've been finished by now -- i would've had each recap done the day after the show originally aired, but who are we kidding? in a perfect world i wouldn't already know who is the winner of season 11. i know who won so i'm dragging my feet on finishing up this season. however, i am dying to see where Layana gets eliminated. let's get this show on the road.

*spoilers! 

oh, the top five.
we have left standing: Stanley, Michelle, Patricia, Daniel and Layana. at this point, i really think Stanley and Michelle are the top designers, and i really would like to see them go all the way. i'd be happy with either of them as the winner. the other three are just so-so.

Daniel has had some great ideas and is an impeccable sewer, but his taste can be questionable every once in a while. sometimes he is missing the youth factor in his designs.

Patricia is just too big for this competition. she has some crazy-ass design ideas, and she can never execute them. she would be someone who could use a few days to work on these challenges instead of the day allowed. i feel we haven't seen what she is really capable of producing.

Layana, oh Layana. i'm not a huge fan of hers -- if you haven't been able to tell. i think her designs are just okay; nothing extraordinary that sticks out in my mind as something amazing but none of it is terrible. i feel that she always skirts by elimination (no pun intended), but she has the ego to tell you that she is the cat's meow.

this week's challenge is the editorial look for Marie Claire, a chance for the designers to have their design in print and worn by Jordana Brewster -- very prestigious. Nina has a long list of things she wants to see and not see -- pay attention designers. i love it when they don't listen to directions because how much more clearer does Nina need to be? what's also nice about this challenge is that the designers get to work on their own, finally. the show is bringing in help for this challenge in the form of past designers who have been eliminated. welcome back Richard, bring on the drama!

the pairs are:
Stanley and Tu
Michelle and Amanda
Daniel and Samantha
Layana and Kate
Patricia and Richard

no one wanted to work with Richard. poor Richard. everyone was freaking out about the possibility of being paired up with him again, and Patricia, the poor soul, got stuck with him. the look on her face was priceless when she was paired up with him because it doesn't help that they just worked with each other in the previous challenge, and it just about killed Patricia. i foresee someone's death. i love her quote, "i don't even remember how to pray anymore because of working with Richard last challenge." she's all out of prayers people! what's a girl to do? Richard just isn't up to Patricia's level technically, and Patricia has a hard time explaining what the fuck is going on in her head. this is a disaster waiting to happen, again.

what about Stanley? holy cow. he was insane. i felt really bad for Tu. i think at one point Stanley was yelling at Tu for smiling and laughing, basically breathing. i'm surprised that Tu was allowed bathroom and food breaks. good lord, Stanley is in it to win it for sure. i guess you miss these kind of things when the designers are working in teams and one having to be accountable for their actions towards their teammates on the runway. i liked Stanley when he wasn't all crazy and shit.

all in all, the other designers seemed to work smoothly with little drama. Daniel finished using Samantha and let her go help Patricia and Richard, what a guy! Layana thought her design was a gift from God. and Michelle didn't listen to directions. she didn't care because she thought she had the best design. it was a pretty kick ass design. however, when Nina said that she didn't want a t-shirt and jeans (pants) going down the runway and a t-shirt and pants is exactly what Michelle gave her, i think she might have a little problem.

let's talk about the designs:

Daniel - it's a whole lot of yellow and linen, really. all in all, the design is okay. i really liked the shorts and the jacket but not the two of them together. like the judges suggested, the jacket would've been nice with a soft flowing skirt. what's funny was it looked like Layana was going to vomit when this design when down the runway. little dramatic, aren't we Layana?

Layana - this was a nice design. i thought the leather could've been softened up a bit like Patricia mentioned, but that's just me personally. i liked the hard of the leather and the soft of the skirt together. very nicely done.

Michelle - i loved this look. i loved the t shirt and the leather trim. i loved that is was transparent and you could see the black bra underneath. loved it. i'm not a huge fan of the peg pant, but it worked here. Michelle has great taste, but she didn't follow directions. this could send her home, and i don't want her to go home.

Patricia - this was okay. it would've been nice to see what she intended to send down the runway but couldn't because she didn't have the proper help. i feel that is what happens a lot to Patricia's designs. she just bites off way more than she can chew. what she sent down the runway was just ordinary and poorly made.

Stanley - this was a cute design. the culottes kicked ass and the tank under the jacket was super cute. i just didn't like the jacket, mainly the color. but all in all this design was spot on and flawless, just like Stanley. good thing he rode Tu hard.

the winner: Stanley. no questions about it. his design was cute and fashion forward and perfect for Marie Claire and Jordana Brewster.

the loser: ??? no loser! what the fuck? actually i'm very glad about this because it was looking that it would be Michelle and i really think she is the best designer and because i know who the winner of the season is, of course Michelle can't be eliminated.

this episode ended with a "to be continued..." so it will be very exciting to see what will happen to Michelle next week. it looks like the designers are going to other countries for inspiration, wow! they spared no expense this season. i'm sure it's to say sorry to the contestants who made it this far for being stuck doing teams this entire season.

Project Runway aired on Thursday nights on Lifetime.

(photos from Project Runway on myLifetime.com)

life via pictures

as always, it's been awhile.
i'm still here. living, working, reading, watching way too much television and doing nothing of importance. ugh.
the boy and i fell into a tv watching pit -- you know that pit. the one you fall in over a show that has been on tv for awhile so you are able to watch episode after episode until you catch up to it -- for us it's Pretty Little Lairs. i can't get enough of that show. who the fuck is A? how much money does this A person have (because he/she/they are spending a small fortune making life hell for four high school girls)? why? so many questions, so few answers.

here are some pictures of life lately. i am obsessed about making stick figure pictures at work. i can't get enough of it. they are usually the same figure but i can't stop.

the boob tube: Project Runway s11 e10

i just realized that Project Runway season 11 has finished and a winner has been chosen. oh boy! i still have four episodes to watch. i am going to try my best to not see who the winner is, but i'm sure when i go onto Project Runway's website i'll see who it is. so let's get this party started.

*spoilers! you've been warned.

this episode of Project Runway was a good one -- i think i always say that for every episode, oh well.  this was the episode where the designers get to design there own fabric. i always love this challenge. i love the idea of making one's own fabric, but i am always disappointed because the fabric the designers' designs never looks any good. they are always too geometric for me. let's think outside of the box people.

the other part of this challenge is to make two pieces; a wearable work of art inspired by the Guggenheim and a ready-to-wear complimentary piece. a lot is at stake with this challenge because not only are we very close to the end, the winner of this challenge gets a nice cash bonus. so everyone is in it for the money.

again, the teams have been reorganized:
Stanley and Michelle - a dream team.
Patricia and Richard - impending disaster.
Layana and Daniel - should be okay but i feel that Layana might not play nice.

this episode. oh, this episode. i am going to come out and say it, i don't like Layana. she is whiny and bitchy, and she thinks her shit don't stink, but it does. i like that Heidi questioned her design and taste during the runway show because everything that Heidi brought up about Layana is true. i don't recall any design of hers sticking out as being amazing. i even looked at her portfolio online after this episode to see if i am missing some extraordinary design from her. sure some of her stuff is nice, but her portfolio doesn't justify her cocky attitude one bit.

i even went back to re-watch her and Daniel working together in this episode because of how she acted on the runway. i had to see if i was missing her design the piece that Daniel did. in doing so, i didn't see anything that pointed to Layana working on Daniel's piece like she claimed during the critique. she said that she put in 50% into his piece, but i didn't see it -- this could be an editing issue with the show -- but there was no evidence to support her claim that she put in any effort into Daniel's design. what we saw in this episode was her lack of creativity catching up with her. Daniel had to spend a lot of time talking her off a ledge and getting her to come up with something to send down the runway. i really think that Daniel should have done the wearable work of art and Layana the ready-to-wear piece.

Patricia and Richard were a hoot to see working together. this was the first time Patricia had to play the babysitter with her partner because she has always been the one who was babysat. ha! like when they were at Mood, and Richard was going for the crystals, and Patricia was all like stay away from the crystals. however, Richard was totally out of his league, and his lack of design knowledge caught up with him. he was a fish out of water in this episode. oh poor Richard. i really hate to see him go, but i think this might be his end. working with Patricia didn't help either. Richard, or anyone for that matter, needs a translator to understand what Patricia is up to, and Richard was just out of his element with her. watching Patricia trying to describe what she is doing and Richard not understanding a single thing she is saying was the key moment; he just totally shut down. we cannot forget about that bracelet of Richards. when he was all like "fashion was born this morning," i wanted to die.

Stanley and Michelle were amazing together. they understood each other and were a perfect team. really, there is not much to say about them. no fighting, no misunderstands, just totally collaboration. i even loved the fabric they designed. it wasn't geometric like the other two teams; it was interesting and different. of course Layana had to put her two cents in and say that she didn't like Stanley's dress. i just wanted to say "girl, just worry about your own hot mess of a dress because that shit looks like a high school art piece hot-glued together. how much more shit are you going to tack onto the chest?" good lord, i can go on and on about Layana, but i don't want to waste any more time.  

so let's talk about the designs:

Layana and Daniel
the wearable work of art - it was a disaster. there was no direction. it was a hodge-podge of crap just piled on.
ready-to-wear piece - i felt it was all Daniel, and it was a great piece. the jacket kicked ass. the shoulders were amazing and it was youthful.

Patricia and Richard
wearable work of art - this was all Patricia, and you could tell. i really liked it. it was crazy and bold and outside of the box.
ready-to-wear piece - this was all Richard, and it was not good. the skirt was a tragedy, but at least he did try something different. it just didn't work.

Michelle and Stanley
both of their looks were amazing. i loved them. Michelle's jacket was beautiful and the painted train was an added bonus. Stanley's ready-to-wear dress was lovely, i felt a little big looking, but still lovely. and his idea of making the wearable work of art dress out of bubble wrap turned out really nice. bravo!

the winners: Michelle and Stanley. Stanley went away with the prize. hands down they where the best team. the judges loved their design, they even loved the fabric they designed. that fabric could have gone either way, them hating it or loving it. i loved it.

the losers: Patricia and Richard. and my favorite, Richard was sent home. to quote Richard "i need to stop the cameras and get some oxygen because i am passing out right now." love him and i'm going to miss him. he had some great quotes. it was his time to go, and i did think he was the weakest designer at this point in the competition.

Project Runway airs on Thursday nights on Lifetime.

(photos from Project Runway on mylifetime.com)

a film review: To the Wonder

*spoilers!

(insert huge sigh.)

To the Wonder in a nutshell is about the "manic pixie dream girl" wanting to get married and then hates her married life, or that is what i took away from this film. IMDb has the plot summary as, "after visiting Mont Saint-Michel, Marina and Neil (i didn't know their names until the credits) come to Oklahoma, where problems arise. Marina meets a priest and fellow exile, who is struggling with his vocation, while Neil renews his ties with a childhood friend, Jane." i got that plot, but it was lost in between Marina (Olga Kurylenko) dancing EVERYwhere. good grief. 

i knew what to expect going into this film, so i wasn't taken by surprise. after all this is what a Terrence Malick film is. epic shot after epic shot of a beautiful tragically thin women dancing lyrically through a wheat field or forest or grocery isle, set to a piece of classical music. it could almost be a modern dance piece, but it is not a modern dance number. it is a film that is trying to tell some kind of story that i inevitably have to visit Wikipedia after i see it to try and comprehend what i just saw. i'm looking at you Tree of Life because i did not understand that film at all. i actually left the theater feeling very stupid because the boy totally got it and thought it was the most amazing thing ever. sure, it was beautiful beyond belief, but what the fuck was it about?

this may come to you by surprise but i love Malick, i do. i loved Badlands, adored The Thin Red Line and was enchanted by The New World (i never saw Days of Heaven.) Malick's vision and how he tells a story through images and music is right up my alley, and i fell in love with each of his earlier films. you can get lost in his films, and i love that feeling like you are connected to his art. i feel, however, that the older i get the less i buy into this pretentious bullshit from artists. and i feel that Malick has fallen into that category for me with these last two films of his.

i was young when i saw Badlands, The Thin Red Line and The New World. i ate them up with vigor. i was a pretentious college student who only enjoyed art-house films or foreign films. hell, i think my last few years of high school and into college that was all i ever watched. me and the boy would spend all of our money at the independent cinema in Minneapolis. but i got older and saw Tree of Life and thought to myself "i think i must have been much smarter when i was younger because this shit lost me at the dinosaurs. where did my brain go?"

To the Wonder just annoyed me. the entire time i kept on thinking that if i ran into this Marina women i would want to kill her. she is manic and all she does is play, like she is a child. i get that her character is actually supposed to be manic. she seems to be having problems that could steam from her IUD (a contraceptive), so her emotions are all over the place. but i just wanted to slap her. 

at the beginning of the film we see the couple, Marina and Neil (Ben Affleck), on the train. Marina is standing on the train's table, she is sliding off her seat and under the table, she is climbing all over Neil, she is being all cute and playful. i just thought, "how fucking annoying. i feel bad for all the people who are sitting by them." when the couple move to Oklahoma, we see them do a lot of domestic life stuff like grocery shopping. again, we see her dancing up and down the isles of the grocery store. if i saw a women acting that way in the grocery store i would call the cops and inform them that "we have someone on LSD, come and pick them up."

i personally could have used more Javier Bardem and Rachel McAdams because both of their stories seemed really interesting to me. a priest who is having a crisis of faith and a women who is trying to save her ranch because her deadbeat husband lost all their money gambling and who has lost a little girl. but i don't want to sit here and critique this film because it is what it is, a Terrance Malick art-house film. and with all art each person takes away their own experience, they'll either love it or hate it. 

the boob tube: Project Runway s11 e09

*spoilers!

i cannot believe that there are only seven designers left (at this point in the blog, because i am behind). the designers are getting tired--physically and mentally--and the cracks are showing. when we get this far into the competition, people start to break, and boy did some of the designers snap in this episode.

we had the nice little recap of what happened in the previous episode with team slick and hip -- Richard, Samantha and Layana minus Amanda. Richard is still upset with Layana for throwing him under the bus, and Layana is still being a snob. basically none of the female designers like Richard or his designs. of course, there is always more than we, the television audience, sees during the time when the judges ask the designers questions about their work and each other. it seems that the claws came out between Richard, Layana and Amanda. drama!

and so, the teams have been reconstructed again:
Stanley and Patricia - when Stanley said that he "threw up a little" about being paired with Patricia, priceless.
Daniel and Michelle
Layana, Samantha and Richard - let the drama begin.  

the drama this time around wasn't left to just Layana, Samantha, and Richard, but there was plenty present there. Richard just ignored Layana the entire time. loved it! when Layana was going on about sketching on the floor of Lord & Taylor, and Richard was all like "nobody's paying attention to you right now sweetie pie. go flip your hair over there." loved it! basically Richard is all over Layana, and Layana is all over Richard. they are just hating everything the other person does. Layana thinks Richard has no creativity and is just terrible, but really Layana doesn't have a lot to stand behind. her designs have just been okay. i really can't remember anything from her that simply stands out, let alone anything from her that was amazing. she is defiantly very sure of herself, and that is half the battle.

Stanley and Patricia ran into some drama of their own. they are two very strong personalities, and they are very set in their own ways and design aesthetic. some butting of the heads took place. i really think Stanley knew what he was doing with Patricia though because he totally pull her back down to earth. he called her out on her crazy-ass design, which was great to see. a "Patricia light" design as Stanley called it. she was able to pull together a very nice design in the amount of time allowed because time management isn't a strong suit of hers.

the shocker came from Michelle and Daniel. they seemed to be working very well together at first, but after Tim's critique Daniel just lost it. he was emotional and all over Michelle for just saying that she thought a 21-year-old wouldn't want to buy his design. he wouldn't let that go. it was a total what the fuck moment. and Daniel just kept on saying that his designs are to "make people happy." i'm all like "we get it Daniel, you design to make people happy. Michelle is just trying to help you with this challenge specifically." good lord, calm down boy. it was a really weird moment.

this was the Lord & Taylor challenge, with the winning design being reproduced and sold in the stores. always a designer's favorite because who doesn't want to see their design reproduced and sold to the public? however, a lot of the designers took this challenge too literally. too much pink, y'all!

so let's talk about the designs:

Patricia - very cute. i was surprised, and i loved the top. it flowed beautifully and looked graceful. i just didn't care for the color. i am like Michelle when it comes to pink. no thank you.
Stanley - a nice little dress. i just thought it was average, nothing special. and it was pink, no thank you.

Richard - i liked this dress, but i do agree that we have seen this design from him before. it just flowed and looked effortless, and i like that. i have a feeling the judges won't like it.
Samantha - i don't know how i feel about this dress. it's okay. it's very, very young and short. i want to say it's almost too young and the heart cut-out is not my cup of tea.
Layana - it's a very pretty dress. i felt it was a bit old for the demographic. i didn't like the print on the fabric at all. i like that the judges didn't like the print either.

Daniel - i thought this dress looked old. the color was no good either, i'm right there with you Michelle. Daniel just loved this color, and he is totally standing behind it, oh boy. the styling of the hair was terrible. oh Daniel.
Michelle - the cutest dress. fun and young and no pink. thank you Michelle. my favorite.

the winning team: Daniel and Michelle and Michelle went away the clear winner. all the judges loved this dress hands down, and i loved it too.

the losing team: Richard, Samantha, and Layana. the designer sent home, Samantha. which surprised he hell out of me. i thought for sure that it would be Richard. i like Richard, and i want to see him stay, but do i think he should win? i'm not sure yet. but Samantha's dress was not good. it was a hot mess. she is a designer that is very youthful, but i think a bit too young if you ask me.

Project Runway airs on Thursday nights on Lifetime.

(photos from Project Runway on mylifetime.com)

epic fail: a picture a day!

i have been defeated. my lazy ass lifestyle got the better of me, and i wasn't able to keep up with my brilliant idea of taking a picture a day. what is wrong with me? it's just a picture a day. i am and always will be a procrastinator, and that was what the central challenge was with this venture. all i needed to do was to take a picture a day, but my main problem was i never thought to take one. by the time i would settle into bed, i would realize that i hadn't taken a picture. pretty soon all my pictures would've ended up being of my very small bedroom. i don't want to take a picture of my ceiling fan or of my unmade bed or of the lamp without a shade or of my clothes chair. the idea was to better observe the world around me and to work on my picture-taking skills because who doesn't want to be an amateur photographer? everyone, except the boy, wants to be an amateur photographer, and i wanted to be able to use and understand apps other than Instagram (though i do love Instagram).

my downfall started one day in february when i missed taking a picture (i don't remember the exact date.) then i missed another day and another day. then i just stopped caring - this was also during the period when i was waist deep into my "down in the dumps" time. i didn't care about anything. i tend to be obsessive when it comes to projects like this. when i miss a day or two or three i just want to scrap the entire project because it will not be whole. this notion stems from my days in school when i would take lecture notes. when i was taking notes and couldn't get everything perfect, i would have to rewrite my notes until i had achieved said perfection. if my spacing was off or i misspelled a word and i had written in pen, i would scrap it all and do it all over again. it's really weird what i am obsessive over. 

so i am going to start a new section, one where i share some pictures of my life - i know you are all dying to see what i am up to all the time because i have the most awesome life. i got the idea from the many pretty lifestyle blogs that i am obsessed with because they all do a little picture post, and i love being a voyeur. so here you go, my life through pictures. enjoy.

      

a film (rental) review: This Means War

i know, i know; this movie has been out for a while now, and i actually saw it way back when i was still was getting Netflix DVDs sent to my place. the movie popped up on HBO the other day -- and when i say other day i mean other month -- so i set it to record. since then it has been sitting on my DVR taking up precious space.
*this is one of those movies that i record and save for my computer time viewing. you know what i mean, that movie/show you have on in the background while you're surfing the net, paying bills or just wasting too much time on Pinterest.

This Means War is a fun little girly movie. it stars the reigning queen of the chick flick, Reese Witherspoon, and her sassy real life best friend playing her sassy best friend, Chelsea Handler. are you ready for some witty one-liners from Handler? because this movie is full of them. i don't mind Handler, she has that bitchy i-don't-give-a-fuck attitude that i relate to very well. i just tire of her endless Angelina bashing because she cannot let it go. you would think that she was the one that was in the relationship with Brad Pitt. i don't give a rat's ass about Pitt's love life, Handler.

anyway, the movie is directed by McG, the music video maverick turned movie director. i wouldn't really called this a film because that would imply that this is a piece of art. this is just a good ol' fashioned movie. it's an enjoyable flick and doesn't watch play like a music video (insert stock Michael Bay slam here). side note, i really like the use of color in this movie. everything is big and bold and vibrant, especially at Witherspoon's character's workplace. loved it.

*spoilers! if you haven't seen this movie yet you aren't going to see it, and it doesn't matter if i spoil it for you. so there! 

the one fatal flaw of this movie, and for me its a huge flaw, is the guy she ultimately chooses. we are led to believe that Chris Pine is the better man because that is who Witherspoon ends up with, when really Tom Hardy is the superior choice. i don't know how anyone could think that Pine is better than Hardy. Pine is like the poor man's Chris Evans, although that's probably too flattering to Pine as i do actually love me some Chris Evans. Hollywood tends to do this. things (movies and actors/actresses) come in pairs. Dante's Peak and Volcano. Deep Impact and Armageddon. The DaVinci Code and National Treasure (America's response to The DaVinci Code). Dylan McDermott and Dermot Mulroney. Bill Pullman and Bill Paxton. Bridget Moynahan and Michelle Monaghan. and lastly Chris Evans and Chris Pine. when it rains, it pours. so people tend to get Chris Pine and Chris Evans mixed up. gasp, how could they? Chris Evans is by far the superior Chris.

i fell in love with Hardy when i saw him in Wuthering Heights on PBS' Masterpiece Theater in part because i am a hardcore anglophile. he was the perfect Heathcliff for me: romantic and tortured but still very manly. from that moment on, he has a special place in my heart. he could be a little bit taller, but i'll look past that small flaw. this is where the choice at the end of the movie was questionable because i would've gone with Hardy in a heartbeat.        

This Means War is a fun little flick. you might enjoy it if you're not expecting much. xoxo.

the evolution of my crappy reading tastes: part two

*this is a long post. if you want me to drag you down memory lane, enjoy.

a couple of posts ago, which in the timeline of this blog is about a month, i wrote about the evolution of my reading and how it has unfolded over time. it was epic, really. now i will conclude what i have started with part one.

after high school typically one goes on to college -- this was 15 years ago (yikes!). i am from the midwest, so going to college after high school was more of an "everyone goes to college, there is no not going to college" thinking. i was one of those people. i went to The University of Minnesota when all i really wanted was go to The University of Wisconsin. Wisconsin didn't accepted me, i was heartbroken. boo! oh, how i planned my whole college life while in high school with the notion that i would be going to Wisconsin. i was devastated. like everything in your youth, it felt like the end of the world.

in college i put reading as a hobby on hold. i was too busy with school work and some drinking, or more aptly i was busy with drinking and some school work. i was an English major, or at least i finally settled on English after spending three years of trying to figure out what i wanted to do for the rest of my life. that's a scary thought, and one i am still working on. what the fuck do i want to do for the rest of my life? ugh! so i had a number of other majors that i went through.

the list:

• Anthropology/Archaeology - because i wanted to be the next Indiana Jones. seriously. 
• Computer Science - because a number of people in my family when this route, and it seemed to make them some money. unfortunately computers are not my thing. 
• Art History - because it brought me back to my Indiana Jones roots. i pictured myself as an art historian, working in a museum all sexy and bookish and smart, but i am not any of those things. what was i thinking? 
• Graphic Design - because i loved art, and i thought this would totally be my thing. i spent a year taking all these classes only to find out i wouldn't be able to transfer into the program at Minnesota and that i'd have to transfer schools. i was like "oh hell no!" let's move on.

by my third year i was looking at what classes i'd taken and noticed that if i went the English route i would be done the quickest and have myself an honest to goodness college diploma. after all, i was already three years in, and i would be damned if i wasn't getting myself a diploma. my time was filled with lots of reading and writing. then i came across the best news ever, if i do do English i could emphasize in Creative Writing instead of English Lit, instead of writing a long-ass thesis paper on some book, i could just write my own crap. that is how i got into writing and came to actually enjoy it.

good lord, this is not my long-winded college history of fuck up after fuck up (or as i like to call it "my time where i pissed away a big chunk of money"). it's a rite of passage.

in college i read all the staples that one in college reads. lots of Shakespeare, lots of British Lit and some American Lit. no recreation reading except for the Harry Potter book series. i loved those books. i never was a hard core Harry Potter fan -- you know the ones because i'm that way with my Jane Austen fandom; dresses, hair and food -- but i did enjoy the read. honestly, towards the end of the series i was just annoyed with Harry. he couldn't get his shit together and leaned on Hermione way too much. she was da bomb. i loved her. we really need to see more characters like Hermione in YA literature. i know Harry was all busy trying to survive Voldemort, but one would think "this crazy-ass guy is trying to kill me and the ones i love. i think i will try a bit harder in my Defense Against the Dark Arts class and all my other classes for that matter." you would never see Buffy back down. she would get her shit together and work out until she could kill the evil demons. i digress. the fantasy world of Harry Potter appeals to me; who doesn't want to find out that they are a witch/wizard and are destined to live in this whole different world/life? i sure did.

after college and Harry Potter, i would read here and there, but nothing really got to me. the boy would suggest books for me, but they just didn't hold my attention. i read some Murakami, but he just didn't do it for me. i know, i know. how can i say that because everyone seems to LOVE Murakami, especially the boy, but i couldn't even finish The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle.

now that i look back, i just wanted my guilty pleasure books. it all started with Twilight. NO! i remember seeing the teaser trailer for the Twilight movie and thinking that it looked amazing, and i have to find out more. oh Twilight, how you've sparked so much polar fandom. from haters to lovers, this book series is just crazy. i read the entire Twilight series, and i hated it, but i couldn't put these books down. there was just something about them. i couldn't stop. i could go on and on about how terrible the story is, or how Bella is the worst girl ever, or how Edward is the creepiest (like in a lecherous way) vampire ever, or how Meyers is the worst writer ever, but the internet is full of such reviews. my favorite is here, check it out. it's amazing.

the floodgates have opened. i really like The Southern Vampire Mysteries by Charlaine Harris aka the True Blood books. they are super easy and fast, and they make me think that i too can write a novel because i am often dumbstruck by how stupid something strikes me as being when i read these books. i like the main character Sookie. she is sassy and strong, and sometimes she just wants to make it through the year without being beat up.

most other books that i've taken to reading recently are from the wonderful genre of YA (young adult for those who don't know.)
the books that i LOVED:

• The Hunger Games series by Suzanne Collins
• The Mortal Instruments series and The Infernal Devices series by Cassandra Clare
• The Divergent series by Veronica Roth
• The Graceling Realm by Kristin Cashore         
• any John Green books
• The Book Thief by Markus Zusak    

there. the books that i enjoy and love. i could go on an on about each series because i tend to fall in love with book characters, i'm looking at you Peeta, Jem and Four. my evolution isn't very magnificent, but it's a nice little history of my crappy reading tastes. xoxo.

the boob tube: Project Runway s11 e08

*spoilers! you have been warned. 

i would have to say that this episode was one of the better Project Runways and one of the worst. the challenge, in and of itself, wasn't bad; it was what the designers produced that made this episode to go down in flames. now, i haven't seen every Project Runway, but from what i've seen from this week's final outcome, this was the worst. the challenge was amazing and had so much potential, all they had to do was design three opening costumes that tear-away for the magical all-male dance group The Thunder from Down Under. OMG! best. challenge. ever.

the teams were reassigned again, and i like how they did it this week. no button bag was used or people picking partners. this week the judges chose the teams, and i like that they really thought about who they should pair together. it was two teams of four:

team shades of grey -- really?
Patricia
Daniel
Stanley
Michelle

team slick and hip -- oh good lord!
Richard
Layana
Samantha
Amanda

this was an amazing episode if only for all the great one-liners and the potential cold showers for some of the designers. Richard was incredible. when the designers had to sit down for the consultation with the Down Under dancers he was all like "oh i'll lead this one ladies." it was like "yes!" when Amanda was getting on his nerves during the work room time, he was all like "gurl, play nice." i love Richard. i felt really bad for him during this challenge. his teammates where attacking him whenever they got a chance. they would shoot down his ideas and disregard whatever would come out of his mouth. i was getting all protective and wanted to jump into the tv and be all like "nobody puts Richard in the corner." i think if he were to get his way the dancers would've looked like RuPaul, Boy George, and Prince walking down the catwalk like Layana pointed out. what's a girl to do?

Richards other teammates were way out of their elements. both Layana and Amanda couldn't construct a simple tailored suit. i know dressing a man is different than dressing a woman, but come on, you should be able to tell that the suit jacket that you're making looks like it's for a woman -- i'm looking at you Layana. how could she not tell that was a women's jacket?

the ladies from this episode were just out of control. Nina couldn't keep herself together during the judging. it was actually really funny because the shit -- and yes, the outfits they sent down the runway were total shit this week -- was one hot mess after another, and it had Nina laughing uncontrollably. all you could do is just laugh at what you're looking at. oh good lord. and all the ladies having to work with the male dancers was too funny. you couldn't shut up Michelle about the men being such "men." Layana couldn't not touch the men but couldn't stop touching them. get these ladies a cold shower.

let's move on and talk about the designs:

team shades of grey:
Patricia, Daniel, Stanley and Michelle
they were going for a business-man-by-day and a stripper-by-night, or something like that, look. the idea was okay, i could see it going somewhere, but what they produced was boring and baggy. Michelle had some good ideas, but Stanley just kept on shooting her down. Stanley is a classic kind of man so his strippers will be classic as well. oh boy. the suits were just basic and boring. Patricia's shirt was awful and she spent so much time on it, it was pointless. the trench coat was so boxy and boring. the entire collection was just boring. the only thing that was interesting was Michelle's vest, it just didn't fit with the collection. their tear-away's did not work. epic fail.

team slick and hip:
Richard, Layana, Samantha and Amanda
they were also going for this business-man-by-day and stripper-by-night look. what is up with this style right now? am i missing something in the male stripping trend? i thought make strippers are supposed to be firemen and construction workers and police men. i think i am missing something. this is not what i learned from Magic Mike! okay, i digress. this team was a hot mess. if the shades of grey team was bad, this team was bad on an epic scale. they didn't work together during the workroom time at all, and you could tell. they were not a team. the shirts were terrible, the pants were awful, the whole thing was just bad. however, their tear-aways worked. bonus.

the winner: no one!

the loser: team slick and hip by default because they were the worst of the bad, and Amanda was the team member sent home. i guess it was her time to go. out of her team, she was the weakest, but she isn't the weakest of the whole lot of designers. this is why the teams aspect kind of sucks, because you have the weakest designer on the winning team. but this is a competition, and someone needs to go home.

this was an exciting episode, and it just shows you how lucky some people are being on the winning team, and how some designers get sent home even if they aren't the weakest. now we are down to five designers, things are going to get interesting because it's going to be harder seeing people go home. everyone at this point is really talented, except for what we saw in this challenge. it was just embarrassing.

Project Runway airs on Thursday nights on Lifetime.

(photos from Project Runway at mylifetime.com)

the boob tube: Project Runway s11 e07

here i go again, attempting to catch up. i finally watched the next Project Runway - episode 07. it's been about a month. i am way behind. holy cow! i could sit here and list a number of reasons why i haven't been keeping up with my boob tube watching, but i have none that are very good. i've just been down in the dumps for a bit, and i'm trying to crawl out of the black hole. i have been thinking of writing about feeling "down," but we'll see. now, enough of my "feelings," let's get down to judging some people's hard work.

let's do this.

*spoilers! if you haven't seen this episode yet, you're just as lazy as i am.  

this episode was a fun one and a first. the designers had to design a prom dress made entirely out of duct tape. now if that doesn't sound like high school... because in high school there is always that group of "weird" kids who would make outfits out of duct tape. hell, when i was in high school, there was this one boy who made an entire three piece suit out of duct tape (i think there was one of those boys in every high school.) he was super proud of that suit, he should try out for Project Runway. and you can't forget about making your wallet out of duct tape, a project that kids tend to do while they are sitting at home getting high instead of doing their homework. oh high school. okay times.

this is the episode where the claws came out of Kate. good lord girl, settle down. i want to say it's her youth - she is worried about all the catty bitches, but she is the catty one. i feel that is an issue younger girls worry about because when you get into your 30s you don't give a fuck about what other people think. it's good that she is being passive aggressive and is only showing her feelings during the interviews. that is exactly what i like about this show. i don't feel like watching people being all catty and bitchy to one another, i just want to hear them talk about each other behind their backs.

the show changed it up again. the designers are still working in teams of two, but everyone is changing team members. i think the only two that are working together again is Kate and Tu, and i see her game plan. she chose Tu knowing that she can control him. it's sad to see Tu reduced to Kate's helper, he has a very crazy style, and we haven't seen any of it from him during the past two challenges. this can go either way for Kate, if they are in the bottom she can very easily throw him under the bus and save her own skin. isn't it always the cute quiet ones who are the most diabolical?

we must talk about that gold duct tape, or better yet, we can have Layana whine about it some more because she did not whine about it enough during the episode. good lord girl, just stop. you sound like a spoiled brat and it doesn't help that you have a whiny sounding voice so it was even worse. i like how Richard was all like "i want all the gold duct tape and i am not sharing it with anyone. so go fuck yourselves, bitches." actually i just imagined him saying that in my head, because then i would respond with "you go gurl." Richard doesn't have to share with anyone, it is a competition first and foremost.

what was up with Patricia's crazy eyes during Tim's critique? they were super scary. it was like she was burning a hole into Tim soul with her glare and placing a hex on him for thinking her design was anything but fabulous, and it worked. i have no idea how Patricia works her magic, but she has someone on her side. i would guess having to work with her would be super hard, but Samantha made it work. i don't know how, but the two of them were able to produce a crowd-pleaser, even though i usually think Patricia's designs look like an arts and crafts project, and this was no exception.

let's talk about the designs:

Michelle and Amanda - it was a cute little dress. i didn't like the side cut-outs, but otherwise i can see a high school girl in that dress. the judges loved it. the "Gwen Stafani" dress. ugh! i also liked how Kate hated this dress and kept on saying that she was just in high school, and no one would ever wear that dress. oh Kate, i just think you are an old soul.

Stanley and Layana - i thought the dress was okay. i liked that they were going with this over-exaggeration of the bow and pleats. the bow and the bracelet they made for the dress was really cute. the judges loved it, of course.

Daniel and Richard - i liked the dress, but it was dated. i think what got them was when Tim told them during the critique that the dress "looks like a wow." the boys got cocky. i thought the ruffles turned out better on the runway than when we first saw them. the dress did look like it came right out of the movie Sixteen Candles. boy, did the judges not like this dress, and Nina especially was harsh on them.

Kate and Tu - oh this poor dress. it was okay. boring, but okay. the judges hated it, and i have to agree with everything they thought about this dress. it did not look like a prom dress. it was a mediocre runway dress, and no girl wants to go to their prom in a stuffy stiff dress. it was Kate's dress, and she was all cocky with this challenge and like "i was just in high school so i know what high school girls want." wrong Kate, you have no idea what the youth likes. the color of the dress was terrible too. choosing the denim duct tape, ugh.

Patricia and Samantha - the "jiffy pop" dress. ha! i thought it was okay, but of course the judges loved this dress. i really need to be smoking what the judges are smoking. then again i am just an old hag who knows nothing because this dress also won with the high school kids when they did the runway show for the students. it had the most student votes, wtf!

the winner: Michelle. i was just happy it wasn't Patricia. i liked Michelle and Amanda's dress more.

the loser: Tu and Kate. holy cow! they tossed out two people this week. i did not see this coming. i am totally cool with this decision. they both needed to go. at this point they are like one unit. they like working together as a team, but it really is just Kate with a helper. good call judges.

what a great episode. i loved the whole duct tape thing. i hope to see it again.

i hope to have the next episode up soon. the show is just sitting in my DVR taking up precious space, and i need to get this shit out so my fellow Project Runway peeps know my feelings of each episode. it's very important stuff yo!

Project Runway airs on Thursday nights on Lifetime.

(photos from Project Runway at mylifetime.com)