a film review: Killing Them Softly

or more astutely, salivating at the greatness that is Brad Pitt. (i bet you thought i would have a Brad Pitt picture right at the beginning of this post. boy, were you wrong.)

good lord, is Brad Pitt not gorgeous in this film or what? when i left the theater i couldn't stop thinking about him. he is not my typical crush when it comes to the hollywood leading man. first and foremost he is a blonde, and i do not find blondes attractive. i could go on and on about why i dislike blondes, but in short they are just creepy-looking to me. think flesh-colored beards (thank you, Joel McHale). ick. the funny thing is, of course, that i'm a blonde. talk about self-hate. but i digress. give me tall dark-and-handsome any day of the week. Pitt in this film also reminded me a bit of Jax Teller (portrayed by Charlie Hunnam) from Sons of Anarchy. but if you ask me Pitt is an adult and Teller is just a boy with ill-fitting clothes.

*spoilers, beware!

now how about the film, because this is a review, right?
the title of this post is telling me so, right?

this is a film that takes its time. directed by the same man that brought us The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford (that was a mouth full), Andrew Dominik, brought us an American crime drama that was visually impressive. just like that aforementioned film, Killing Them Softly was like watching a lyric poem. it did have moments where i almost fell asleep, but i do wake up at an ungodly hour for work, so most evenings i have a hard time keeping my eyes open.

James Gandolfini was disgusting, but of course it's his character. Ben Mendelsohn was gross and fantastic, i could totally smell his repugnance. and Brad Pitt's speech at the end of the film was amazing:

Everybody is alone in America. America's not a country. It's a business. Now fucking pay me. 

he had me the moment he walked into the wood paneled bar. there, i'm done. this was very analytical.

side note to all directors out there: when you film a movie in New Orleans make sure it's set in New Orleans. even though this story is supposed to take place in Boston we all knew it was filmed in New Orleans. it is one city that can only be itself.

but Brad Pitt, oh boy. the entire film he wore black and smoked Parliament cigarettes. he had a confidence about him that made me melt. he didn't say much, but does a man who looks like him and has a strut that makes me weak in the knees need to say much? no, i don't think so. he just oozed manliness and control that was intoxicating. i could go on and get more explicit about how he affected me, but we would be moving into ratings that wouldn't be suitable for the more sensitive viewer.

but come on. he donned a black dress shirt with a black vest that hugged him ever so tightly. i tremble. sigh.

so with this riveting review, i hope you go out and enjoy this film. i know i did. xoxo.